Thursday, July 9, 2009

Distorted Voices

It’s been such a hard journey seeking His face, His will and His plan with all of life’s distractions. An empty bank account, broken relationship, fruitless job search, piles of unpaid bills, friends and family’s needs and a raging internal battle between what is right and what feels right have prevented me from fulfilling that mission.
With countless distractions, it has become so difficult to connect to my creator the way my heart desires. I try to listen for His voice, but there are so many other voices in my head drowning out the only voice that truly matters. I hear my children plead for things I cannot provide at this time, I hear my partner imploring for more attention and affection and I hear my flesh yearn for its desires to be fulfilled while everyone around me is also seeking time, attention and advice. In the midst of life’s chaos, God is speaking to me.
God is speaking. I try to find the calm within me, quiet the distractions that distort His voice, but they are overwhelming me and crippling my connection. I try to find time for just He and me, but I am never alone, and in the rare moments that I am, I am so exhausted and sleep overtakes me. I am yearning within to reconnect, but there just seems to be so much commotion all around me all of the time.
So I recommit to Him, pledging my time, my thoughts and my heart to Him. I reclaim my life from the pitfalls that have consumed my being so that I can see the face of my father more clearly and realign my life with His will and my heart with the beat of His. I know that it is the only way for my joy and my smile to be authentic and pure. I know it is the only way that I will truly walk in my purpose and fulfill my destiny, so today I recommit to reconnect…watch what happens…

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